This is my life.

So, doing my submissions today, I am innundated by the amount of absurd roles being casted. I'm sitting here reevaluating my very whisp of a career, and wondering:

Do people really go out for this stuff?

The first: A Jack in The Box commercial. And this is the breakdown.

Bowl Haircut People	Jack in the Box	Commercial
scale shoot and residuals $1500 bump for cutting hair / Male or Female / All Ethnicities / 20 - 50 This spot is about misguided Jack in the Box employees who all get their hair cut into "Bowl Haircuts" THEY WILL SHOOT THEM GETTING THE HAIRCUT! Everyone cast MUST BE WILLING TO HAVE THEIR HAIR CUT INTO THIS "BOWL HAIRSTYLE" Please see the reference photo. (Yes, it will be as extreme as the photo.) I am open to men who are balding also... I 1500 bump for the haircut? You couldnt possibly pay me enough to cut my hair for a commercial to that of a twisted lesbian-man-child creation of a haircut. Which, you will most likely be flashed across the frame for a mere micro second. And then what.. you are left to deal with the rest of auditions you actually don't land because of it? My favorite is that they are "open" to take balding men. If you are balding, doesn't that mean you lack hair, so how would one actually cut it, if there is so very little to cut? Or some guy is like, "To hell with it, looks like I'm balding, lets take the rest off into a creepy bowl cut!" Here are a few I also found amusing. The ultimate Woman-Wife! Woman/Wife Lead / Female / All Ethnicities / 25 - 32 / Nudity / Sexual Situations / A fun-loving and beautiful young housewife that loves being married, but also loves doing her "sex and the city" thing on the weekends with her girlfriends. Talk about depth. Good thing those classes got me to dig into emotionally deep places. Oh, and you have to get naked. Is this what men think woman are like? We just do our "sex in the city" thing on the weekend? What does that even mean: We drink cosmos and devuldge our rhetorical men rants over a sex column and buy Vogue instead of dinner? And my favorite: A leetle ex girlfriend to a ....clown? Huh? Pays 150! Hop on it!! The excessive exclamation marks lead me to think it is less credible. That, or ah, just the breakdown itself: Little Person Other / Female / All Ethnicities / 18 - 28 In need of a little person NO TALLER THAN 4'6" to play an exgirlfriend to a clown on a hidden camera show for MTV!!! HALF DAYS WORK!!!!!! $150 CASH!!!!!! Very quick only a couple hours!!!! Sweet. This is my life.

The Show.

Hello Webasphere Interspace!

It's been a day. Or a couple of months to be precise. Sorry about the lapse, to my 10 readers...I know. You have been craving stories of scandal and I have been lacking!

I have found myself in the most quaint coffee shop in the city, complete with the sound of trickling water over the stone elephant carving to my left sipping my shot of espresso. Charles Mingus' jazz notes resonate in my headphones. To my right, two men clad in plaid and black rimmed glasses pitch ideas for their next screenplay. Something to do with selling G.I Joes on

Ebay.

Nothing says update your blog more than this moment. I'm in the zone, man.

Very exciting things to report:

The first is my new radio show, The Art of Living Magazine. I am hosting with the fabulous and ever-so-sassy Olivia Wilder, http://www.blogtalkradio.com/olivia.

If you look to the right of this here blog, you will see a player in which you can listen from. Last night we debuted the show. Olivia told me I needed to invest in a proper headset, and learn about Skype. So I run to Best Buy, come home, pour myself a glass of cab, and sit down to do our show via the lamest 1990 headset I've ever seen. Next thing I know I'm hearing two versions, one delayed, and trying to carry on a conversation and sound like I'm not sweating. Not a technial wizard. I need help. After that got worked out, I was pleased with the contributors we have on board and the show, plainly put, just kicked some ass.

To elaborate, every week we will have a different "umbrella" topic. Say fashion/interior design, the next wine, the next food/chefs. We will have regular contributors dishing every week. Here's a lil' info bout each:

Jeff Siegel: "The Wine Curmudgeon." Jeff will phone in and tell about what he will be talking about on upcoming shows, namely good wine values. http://www.winecurmudgeon.com/my_weblog/ THIS SITE IS GREAT FOR ANYONE LOOKING FOR GOOD WINE BUYS.

Jody Green: Jody is the Editorial Director of www.satellite-magonline.com, with many years experience in style, fashion, decor, and more. http://www.satellite-magonline.com

Adam Gertler: Adam is the affable host of Food network's "Will Work For Food," and former semi-finalist on "The Next Food Network Star" You will love his gregarious, fun manner, and his culinary skills. Adam will join us on June 28th, sharing his adventures and finds in Cuba, where he will be this week.http://www.adamgertler.com

Jen Kober: Jen is a hilarious comedienne from Louisianna, who loves to cook, eat, and make us laugh. She will be giving us mouth-watering reports from the road. http://www.jenkober.com

Rick Bakas: Rick created and managed brands for 8 years for Nike, transitioned into the wine business, where he has been working in sales and marketing since 2003. He will be talking about wine/food pairings, and more. http://www.rickbakas.com

Andrea Schroder: Andrea is the lovely and talented contestant from Bravo's "Top Design," season 2, where she made it through 8 weeks of competing among a field of 13 top designers. She will be talking home design, decor, style, and more. http://www.andreadschroder.com

Scott Huver and/or Margi Blash: Scott works as a freelance writer-reporter with various entertainment magazines and websites, primarily People Magazine. Other regular clients include TV Guide, Los Angeles Confidential, Giant Magazine, Hollywood.com, Fandango.com and ComingSoon.net. Scott will be contributing in the field of Entertainment, and has no website.

Margi Blash: Margi is the go-to reporter for smart, stylish and spunky coverage - from star-studded red carpets, celebrity sit-downs, the latest fashions and lifestyle trends, adventurous getaways, water-cooler topical issues to simply making your way in the world. http://www.margiblash.com

Stacy Small: Elite Travel International: Stacy specializes in high-end travel. Her company is run by a new generation of luxury travel consultants who specialize in evaluating, personalizing, and planning client's travel experiences based on their own personal knowledge and understanding of luxury travel.http://www.elitetravelinternational.com

Whew. So , I'll be the one willing to take these ideas and live it up for the adventure and report back to you. Now, more importantly, lets find a way to get into this picture:

Age.

Aging is strange. Feels like everyone wants to avoid it, but this year I couldn't have been more ecstatic to age another 365th day. I can officially round up to 30. I suppose I was more than ready to exit 25 and welcome adulthood with open arms.

I began acting like an adult by going to Six Flags. More than anything, I decided that people watching may be the best attraction at Six Flags. My attention was held by a dude who continued to yell "ohh yeeeaaaah, wooooo, oh yeeeeeeah!" at the top of his lungs throwing his arms up with his hands in fists as he walked behind his lady in red. He wasn't yelling to anyone, just himself. And this was well after the ride had ended. In fact, it was far away from any of the rides. I couldn't help but contemplate what he did for a living. If he can make it, this must indeed be Amurica. And by golly, I can make it to. *golf claps*

I looked upon with enthusiasm as if he was there for my entertainment, as my heart palipations returned to a normal steady beat. It was called Goliath for a reason, I tell you.

I figured I was a thrill seeker, but sweet baby Jesus, I forgot how terrifying those rides were. In fact, I think my favorite was the bumper cars if I'm going to be totally honest with you. After I figured out how the hell you strap yourself

 in with some assistance,

 

I realized I could also drive backwards. This gave me an advantage to suerve around any unforseen bumping and un-savvy drivers. Which, I may add, there were plenty.

                      

  

               

 

For the next ride, I convinced my boyfriend we would take a nice slow log ride. Log Jammer, yes, this ride is going to be nice. I had a vague recollection of enjoying this a summer back and it's peaceful glide. No. It has the word "jammer" in it for a reason. It jams. It doesn't saunter or sway. Awesome sign also. Really? 

So unknowingly, we jammed down a waterfall and then I realized why there was no line and no one else in sight. It was 60 degrees and cloudy, and we were on a 'soak you ride.' I ended up looking like a drowned rat, with an annoyed boyfriend who expected something a bit more "peaceful and dry."

I have always half-dreaded birthdays. It is that day you have to acknowledge even if you don't feel like it. You remember who doesn't call and act like it didn't matter to you, but it really did, then you end up sulking because it is your birthday and you shouldn't be sulking over something so silly and ridiculous, they were probably just busy and forgot. Anyyyywayyy............

That didn't happen this year. I was so happy to be leaving the shit storm that was 25 I welcomed the opportunity to celebrate with open arms and gave no excuses to hold back. Nothing was stopping this party train. And it was honestly the best day ever. Goodbye you 25th year, hello you gorgeous and fabulous 26th. Lets do this. Adulthood is fun.

A moment of clarity.

Do you ever have moments when you start to look at something generally, then it becomes much more specific upon your examination? 

I'll start with my apartment. I'll be like, "Damn, I should clean this is borderline disgusting". And so I will finally give in and start.  The more I begin to clean, the more I am looking in the corners of the floor seeing dustand hair and things I never saw. As I'm cleaning, I'm 

thinking, "Well thank God I started doing this, wh...what is that?"

That happened tonight. But with life. And decisions. And relationships. I

 realized how much I have sacrificed in being so consumed everyday with pushing myself, keeping going, and sometimes just survival. Why do I begin these rants at 2:30 am? Ay.

It is just interesting to start seeing things specifically. And to start seeing people specifically. No one is general. Not one thing is general. I take such pleasure in making lame small conversation with my buddy at the 7-11, people at Wells Fargo (especially the 

parking attendant who also does night time gigs as DJ Robin), and the parking guy at Kinkos who laughs at my driving. The days I start talking or more importantly, listening and observing, I see there is so much more to it than what meets the eye. 

It's fascinating once you start to look directly into someone's eyes, whether stranger or friend, and see they have a story and a world, and I don't want to miss it anymore.

So I found some Post Secrets that go along with this concept. For those of you who 

aren't familiar, http://postsecret.blogspot.com/ is a blog where postcards are put up, but people

 send in a postcard to this anonymous address with their secret on it. I find a whole lotta joy every Sunday morning when new ones are posted. Here are the few that struck me tonight. 

So lets stop being stuck in our silly worlds and actually connect......

Decisions Decisions.

I made some big decisions today. 

I joined twitter. 

 If the internet is the new frontier I want to be involved. So I venture to play the odds. And this video made me rethink my viewpoint on it. Do we really have the power as individuals to relay media to the world just as well the news conglomerates do? 

Stream videos at Ustream

So, whatever, tweet me @ haelyscomet. 

The second decision has an upside and a downside:

I will no longer hosting LA Talk Radio's morning show with the lovely Sam *cue sigh sound bite*, but will be doing my own weekly show TBA very soon *cue cheering sound bite*.

We both realized quickly into the show that although we hit it off and had a fantastical time, there were some things I'm just not totally comfortable with discussing over the air. Sex talk a la Sex in the City with a martini in hand, sure. Over the air in the morning, not my gig. 

Sure, the beauty of internet radio is the ability to say whatever, whenever you want. But I just felt this gut thing twist in the core of my being when we're discussing things that, well, shouldn't be discussed over breakfast. It wasn't about who I thought was "listening" or about being "nervous", it's just plain and simple I'm not cut out to be the female Howard Stern. Nor do I want to be. 

It's funny, I remember looking back at a comment one of my first acting teachers told me about moving to LA. "You will be tested in anything and everything. You will have to define specific boundaries for what you will/won't do, some that you haven't even considered before." 

Man, was she right. This is one of the moments a great opportunity was presented and I am going to have to walk away, because in the end, I know it just isn't me. You can't force something to be that doesn't jive with who I am. So I will be considering what I want to do with the weekly show and really want it to be focused on new music/musicians as well as talk radio and entertaining rant.

I must say, I really admire my co-host Sam. He is not only an extremely good time, and got me hooked on the concept of daily coffee intake to increase productivity, but he believed in me enough to give me this opportunity in a medium I had never before encountered. He started the station from scratch and created something out of nothing. I look forward to showing up on the morning show every now and again to get my Sam fix. Aw yeah.

Umm, I have watched more Family Guy tonight than is typically healthy for a woman, and it's time for bed. 

Thanks to my friends and fam who tuned in. Stay tuned for what is to come. 

http://www.latalkradio.com/Haely.php

To listen to a few shows from this week:

http://www.latalkradio.com/Sam_Haely.php

And from last week:

http://www.latalkradio.com/Sam.php 

Scroll down to see a list in the Archive.

xo

Religion, Radio and Random.

Food is what gets me out of bed. When it comes down to it, food is the fire under my ass. I am a 25 year old female trapped in a 8 year old boy.

I'd look like this:












And dance like this:




The point being, today I awoke with the thought of a lovely toasted cinnamon raisin bagel toasted with strawberry cream cheese frolicking through my thoughts. I pulled in, ran up to the door and a handwritten said said : CLOSED for passover. What, you can't you serve bagels even for an hour? Something about levin bread, eh? I carried on to yet another bagel establishment and it too was closed. Fine! I will settle on Coffee Bean and a bad-for-your-hips pastry. And again, closed. Why I outta...

I get it: it's LA, everyone's Jewish (or says they are). Ok I'm probably better off.

In other news: you all MUST tune in to www.latalkradio.com next week (Channel 1) as I will be back and co-hosting with Sam in the morning 9-11am.

http://www.latalkradio.com/live.shtml

I would love to hear what YOU want to hear on the radio. I don't want morning show cliche yabber, but interesting thought provoking stuff-you-never-thought- you'd- get content. Isn't that the point of internet radio? Watch out Howard Stern. So email me at haewhite@gmail.com, if you have ideas of what you want in a morning show while you are in your cubicle dreaming of Maui, mai tais, men in suits, multiple orgasms and mint milanos (ok, that's just me I guess).


Lastly, you shouldn't be allowed to watch movies if you can't figure out how to open the envelope. I was actually paid to do this. It's a mad, mad world.

To Tweet or Not to Tweet- Is that the question?

Me vs. Twitter

So that we are all on the same page here, TWITTER is:

A social networking and micro blogging service that enables its users to send and read other users' updates known as tweets. Tweets are text-based posts of up to 140 characters in length. Updates are displayed on the user's profile page and delivered to other users who have signed up to receive them.

So, another social networking site to invade my incredibly fascinating fabulous life with hours of wasted time and regret? I can pass on tweeting it to strangers in the stratosphere. This exemplifies my feelings:

You could say I have been adamantly against Twitter for a while now. I suppose it originated the moment I heard someone refer "tweet" as a form of communication. And then built steam when a social networking site involving tweeting was a priority over a relationship involving real conversations. (Thank you Twestival LA). Sure, I didn't know details, and perhaps I made rash assumptions, but is it really necessary to telling the world of the Internet what you are doing every moment?

"Going to clip my toenails, going to call my grandma, going to barf all over the computer...."

(i love that I can google "barf" and some poor fat kid on spring break comes up)

But yesterday as I vigorously type into my blackberry that I am currently needing to find a tax guy, the light bulb that occupies my brain begins to flicker.

I am one of them.

I rejected the whole Twittastic concept, but yet I am loving Facebook status updates, and honestly very much intrigued by the fact that I can send out any nebulous question to be answered by anyone who cares enough to listen. Isn't that basically the same thing?

Pro's for Twitter- A facebook without all the albums, bothersome "what sex in the city character are you" apps, with a direct message chat, and the option to choose to follow anyone you please and receive their updates.

And have them follow you.

Sounds creepy when I type it out like that, doesn't it?

This guy gets to know what you are always up to.

I think I was about to join, till I got carried away and put that last picture up.

That is creepy, man.