Dolla Dolla Billz : A Pimp Guide to Recession Survival.

Looking for more money sucks. It really does. I have in the meantime found two sites that bring great joy and hope:

Read on my recession partners in crime. We are not alone. Doesn't misery love company...and laughter?

http://www.tempdiaries.com/

http://savetheassistants.com/

Also a ever-so-intriguing interview with Jim Cramer on The Daily Show. How to call someone out and be a bad ass:

http://www.hulu.com/watch/62203/the-daily-show-with-jon-stewart-thu-mar-12-2009

It is survival of the fittest right now! And so, a few tips that have helped me in this journey.

You will be eating hundred dollar bills for breakfast, and then laughing while you frolick in all the extra you saved.

RECESSION SURVIVAL TIPS:

1. Honesty.

Instead of talking yourself up into a flurry put the pride aside and be honest about what you need/want. Most times people want to help. I've found even one strong connection will get you a job quicker than dozens of submissions to strangers.

*Even if it took me 3 years to understand this.

2. Trade.

I need a haircut and highlight. Typically it runs upwards of a hundo. So via craigslist I offered to be a hair model. It doesn't matter what you look like if you have hair, you are good to go!

Free cut/color, bingo bango bongo. Check out the legitimacy of the salon to make sure you're not gonna come out with purple hair. Or, offer to be their 'walking PR' and refer cliental. I did this with my last hair guy for several years.

For clothes, check out Crossroads/Buffalo Exchange. Sell your clothes, get cash or get a larger % in trade.

*Note: SELL @ Buffalo Exchange, they aren't as picky if you want cash. Sometimes you'll find good stuff but you have to really explore the racks.
BUY @ Crossroads (not the one on Melrose, the one on Santa Monica/Sweetzer). Amazing deals on designer garb, esp. jeans.

3. The preparty.

You wanna go out, duh. But don't really feel the need to spend a.) the bucks, or b.) the time to act interested listening to some douche bag gab on just to get a drink.

Cue: the preparty. Go to Trader Joe's rock a bottle of delicious wine under 5 bucks, get 'er done.

4. Negotiation.

I have never really tried much to negotiate with my bills. Until recently.

-Talk to credit card companies and they will lower your interest rate. Lowered one of mine 8%.

-Capital One will cover your minimum payment if you lose a job up to a year. Someone else paying MY bill? Hell to the yes.

-Verizon will take off any overrages if you call and make your sob story. Just had 'em take of $95 bucks. Yes, I'm serious.

- Go into your bank personally if you overdraft. If you chat it up with them, explain what happened they will most always remove the fee.

5. Fashion Ingenuity

The Power of Scissors:

-I shrunk an already-too-tight-red-dress, but I couldn't let it go. So chop chop, I turned it into a shirt.

-A favorite 3/4 length shirt ripped on the armpit. I cut off the sleeve and made it a flowy tank top.

Leggings can change any look. Rock em alone, with heels, under anything you can think of and it's a new outfit. *Note: careful to keep it looking vintage/hip and not 1985 with scrunched socks. Go for leggings that go to the ankle, or cover 'em up with boots.

6. Get baby turtles.

They will make you happy no matter what else is happening.

And so I give you: Troy and Gabriella.


* If these tips don't work for you, I cannot be responsible. B

But if they do work i accept all forms of thank you in cash or checks made out

to Haely White.