Unlucky Charms

I was ravenously hungry last night around 1 am, and somehow found myself wandering the 7-11 isles for an obscene amount of time. I acknowledged the cashier was staring at me, curious how one decision could be so impossible to make. But you know when you're so hungry, you could eat everything. Or nothing. You'd hate to make a decision, commit to a sandwich, then be disappointed you didn't choose the KitKat. So after I could feel his eyes burning through my back, I surrendered to the urge of Lucky Charms. It's been about a decade since I had them. Upon reviewing the box, while I inhaled, I was taken back by "game" on the back.

A demon posessed dragon lurks upon the leprechaun, ready to consume him.

This may be the unluckiest leprechaun I've ever seen.


In other news: If you happened to catch 30 Rock tonight, I, Like Liz, left my phone in a cab recently. And he also blackmailed me for it. And now is a better time than ever to tell the story.

After an "eventful" Saturday night out of dancing, bongo drums, champagne, we hailed a cab to take us home.

It was late and I only had debit card for payment. He refused to accept it. I know how these Hollywood cabbies work: they don't get as much tip off cards, so they just say they 'don't accept them.'
I tell him that he better accept it or we will not be paying. It was certainly threatening coming from a slurry blonde in a poofy dress.

He yells at us in broken English to just give him five dollars. It was a heated exchange in two different languages, and so I resign and throw five dollars and hurry out in the heels-I-always-regret-wearing-the-next-day.

As soon as opening my front door, I knew it. Knowing the odds of getting it back, I began to mourn the loss of the beloved blackberry. After two days of various text messages in hopes someone will see it, the Russian Cabbie calls @ 6 am. I answer the phone call on Marcus's phone seeing my name and number flashing. My heart leaps while realizing that at any moment my battery could die and it would be gone forever. High stakes. It's surely a miracle the battery has held on for 2 days. I manage to make out he is "far away but for 65$ could make special trip." I say I don't want to spend 65$. He tells me that will be his fare from where he is. I tell him he is a liar, then quickly take it back knowing he has my heart in his sweaty sausage fingers. Twenty minutes later, I give in to said price of 40$.

I must disguise myself as I wouldn't want him to recognize me from the aforementioned event of the drop off. *cringe* I bust a green beret and bulky jacket. I go into my wallet to get what I thought was 40$, I realize I only have 25$. I call him, explaining what I have, and he tells me I am a liar, and he will now make it 70$ for me to get it back. He asks me to go to ATM for the rest. Heart is racing, tears begin to flow like the Nile. It is 7 am, I am emotionally fragile, and broke. So I try to appeal to his money hungry negotiations. I will come to him wherever his next destination is and still give him 25$. Russian Cabbie then admits he's already here, parked outside. No. Are you kidding me? Blood boils at the fact he would demand 70$, while he waits around the corner. Where are my numb chucks?

I tear downstairs looking in each direction: no sign of cab. In the distance appears a short stubby balding man in a corduroy jacket. Dear sweet blackberry is in his grasp. I begin jogging toward him. He sees my desperation, as I gratefully pass all the cash I have to him and thank him through dramatic gasps of breath. And then, something outrageous happened.

Russian Cabbie hugs me. A dad hug. Not creepy old man hug. He soothes me patting my back saying, "is oh-kay, no worry, no worry." I hug back. We share a moment of silence.
I still can't wrap my mind around how Russian Cabbie morphed from blackmail threats to loving father figure in a matter of minutes. Whatever it's worth, thank you Michael from United Cab for my phone, the hug, and the story of redemption. Maybe you do have a soul after all.